my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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