Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
