Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
