i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I didn't notice because vodka
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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