I'm really into asian looking animals
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
