i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
