you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
