when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
