Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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