My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
