Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
