I want to stick my p in your. b.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
