Kiss
Puke
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
