i was rollin on her like bob the builder
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
