It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Mom said you looked used
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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