Where is the hickey?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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