I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
