it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
