unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
