what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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