On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
