dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
