You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
