i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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