His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
