pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
