i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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