I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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