Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
