coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
