Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
