Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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