Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
