Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
