Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He? As in you personified your dick?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I think i got beer on your cat.
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