Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
