I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
