I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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