On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
