At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
