just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
This house was built for laser tag.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
