i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
