the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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