Having a random hookup so left but love u
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Drunk is a universal language darling
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
