So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
