Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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