i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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