Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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