How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
