I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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