But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
